n. waheed (via nezua)
Feel this. Want this. And still wondering: How do we forgive for ourselves and truly let go when people who’ve caused harm aren’t ready to take accountability? For me, breathing love ebbs and flows, always there, and sometimes stronger.
“it is an intrinsic human trait, and a deep responsibility, i think, to be an organ and a blade.” So much of what I’ve been thinking about lately has revolved around this duality; amazing to have it stated so poetically.
“an organ and a blade.”
I don’t want to date anyway I just wanna watch The Craft and Daria. Tonight I made a good first draft of a double mixtape called How To Be Alone, gonna ~drop~ it for youse on the internet pretty soon maybe I guess!
Patricia Fry (via bearnaked)
Don’t be afraid to be single!
Being single is literally the best, most strengthening and fulfilling thing that ever happened to me. I don’t think I’m even exaggerating.
I got shit like this
My fears, insecurities, and jealousy are your responsibility. I have the right to control your behavior and/or the behavior of your other partners in order to manage my fears and insecurities.
and I wasn’t even the one fucking anybody else. I was barely even interested in anybody else. He was fucking multiple women and yet it was my fault that I ‘left’ him and had the audacity to meet someone of whom he was jealous for coffee and with whom I struck up a friendship.
needless to say when that ship sailed, that friend was there for me.
OMG Poly dudes please CHECK YOURSELVES and most of the time, FUCK OFF!!
My relationship(z) with a poly dude was pretty fucked up too. Don’t wanna talk about it right here and now but Sisterhood Against Shit Poly Men 5eva xxx
I love hating on poly dudes but I have to say that I have huge issues with that list! I know controlling poly dickheads with double standards are a huge problem and it’s good to see those problems identified. but the #1 issue my other women friends and I have had with dating poly dudes is being treated like a clingy controlling crazy lady for like, having needs and expecting our partners to care about them. and every issue we had in the relationship(s) being reframed as an issue of our jealous failure to cope with the enlightened poly life.
e.g. here’s a thing given in this list as exemplary of responsible poly: “Understanding my needs is my responsibility. Communicating my needs with you is also my responsibility. You can not be expected to meet any needs of mine that you are not aware of. I may ask for your help in making sure I am taken care of, and trust that you value me and want to take care of my needs.” And there’s nothing in that that’s exactly wrong, but the tone is really offputting. Cool, it’s nice to have permission to ask my lover for emotional support. also it ignores the various social factors that might allow someone to remain “not aware of” their lover’s emotional needs, or on the flip side, struggle to articulate their needs or feel justified in them or assert their importance. I don’t understand why you would wanna date someone if you’re gonna take the attitude of “your problems are your problems and I don’t wanna know about it unless you can articulate them really clearly and make coherent and specific requests, in which case I may or may not do something about them, you can’t make me, I’m a free individual.” that’s not a relationship of mutual support, that’s a business contract.
I totally didn’t click thru to the list, I was just commiserating/saying amen with an old friend lol.
ed: now I have and it is tl;dr because I am insufficiently invested in amorous relationships lol. But, thanks for being critical & sharp Liz!
“I Think I Am In Friend-Love With You” written by and illustrated by Yumi Sakugawa, published in Sadie Magazine, 2012.
[cat emoji where it is laughing and crying at the same time]
This is dedicated to basically everyone.
Marina Abramovic and Ulay
Death Self, 1977
This performance consisted of the two artists seated in front of each other, connected at the mouth. They took in each other’s breaths until all of their available oxygen had been used up. The performance lasted only 17 minutes, resulting in both artists collapsing unconscious to the floor, having filled their lungs with carbon dioxide. This personal piece explored the idea of an individual’s ability to absorb the life of another person, exchanging and destroying it. (Wikipedia)
Well, that’s freakin’ disturbing.
Marina Abramovic is a motherfucking hero. A great many of her pieces had to do with women’s identity, particularly in relationship to men and the social differences of the genders. One of her most famous pieces involved her naked in a museum with the public allowed to touch and do anything to her: as you can guess, people became very sexually inappropriate and even violent with her in a short period of time; verifying the point of the piece, which is that women’s bodies are a social commodity most often treated with violence.
Off the top of my head, I’d say this piece, “Death Self,” represents the futility in making someone else the focal point of your life. Another person cannot sustain you. You must live, and breathe, for yourself.
All women should study the work of Marina Abramovic.