Struggling with tumblr for android, trying to reblog the last posts from discussion with leonineantiheroine (to respond to the one with lots of swearing at me with amendment acknowledging our initial misunderstanding and calling me out for whitesplaining and erasure, and to share the one discussing racism against African and African descended people in Australia) is draining my phone battery and i don’t have a charger for the next few days. I’ll try to make this quick then, though there’s a lot to discuss and I’m about as inarticulate as last night, got about two hours sleep after upsetting internet conflict and nauseous with anxiety all day.

My initial comments referred to my interest in the use of Black queers in the title of a video that featured Black, Brown, African American, Pacific Islander, Indigenous Australian people, ‘Native’ people (i assumed American) and people of African descent. Rather than talking about the experiences queer POC in a homogenising way, i was questioning the use of Black as an overarching identity for all those groups, and thinking about the black/white binary that characterizes mainstream US racial politics and thinking about the similarities and differences between the experiences of the groups represented in the video. I wasn’t trying to correct the creators of the video, i was reflecting on the complexities of identity politics, which is disgustingly less painful for a privileged white person to do in response to this video. I certainly am too ignorant about racism and haven’t been a victim of it, which is reflected in the often less-than-coherent content of my personal blog. I haven’t been writing regularly or candidly on tumblr for the past year because of persistent and sometimes debilitating mental health problems. The intended audience of my blog is my friends. I feel sad and angry and guilty and helpless when confronted with my own complicity in white supremacy. I am sorry. I am out of battery and maybe going to be stranded in Canberra when i get off this bus. I am tired.

There is a sign in our kitchen inspired by kimya Dawson that says, “it’s okay to be mad. It’s not okay to be mean.” this is an important idea to me and i request that if i do not know you and have not initiated communication with you, not to use abusive/bullying language at me because i do not have adequate coping skills to deal with that at the moment.

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